When dealing with pills that are be taken "with a meal" or not taken "on an empty stomach", dry-swallowing them five minutes *before* a meal not only doesn't "count", but it can apparently be the equivalent of thinking to oneself "Hmmm, I suppose it's okay to swallow this gunpowder as long as I top it off with some wadding and a bullet."

Urg.

This brought a smile to my face:


The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde